Rhymefest and Nightsons Present THE BIG PIC Volume 1

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I would like to welcome you to the first edition of THE BIG PIC.

What we are going to do is a series of articles along with video blogs of my travels as both an artist and an activist in attempt to present the “bigger picture” of how Hip-Hop and politics coexist.

In order for this to not be being boring as hell, I’m going to present “off-the-wall-ass” socio-political questions to entertainers, as well as regular folks on the street, to let you get an exclusive view at THE BIG PIC.

I will also take a journalistic approach to answering the questions myself. After you see the video blog, please read the following article.

Today’s question is as follows:

With two weeks to go and national polls reporting that John McCain is at least 8 points behind Barack Obama, if the McCain campaign paid you $50M and asked you to advise his campaign with your youth and ethnic experience to give him a plan for winning the election in the few crucial days left, what would your plan be?

As a newly-hired campaign adviser to John McCain, here’s what my strategy would be to beat Barack Obama with McCain facing an 8-point deficit with only two weeks to go.

First of all, I pondered this for hours and hours, and the only way John McCain can win at this point is to have a revolutionary idea that ultimately pisses a lot of people off but sways enough people from Obama that it could actually make the race (at least) dead even.

Now, when I say “piss people off,” who is it that he can afford to piss off? Other politicians. The government. It can fit right into his “maverick” thematic. John McCain needs to hold a national press conference immediately and announce to the nation that he has figured out a way to create a new stream of tax revenue without raising taxes on individual citizens and rescuing social security for decades to come. John McCain will announce to the nation that if he is elected as President of the United States of America, he will decriminalize marijuana.

As the press corps gasps and the cameras begin to flash with ferocity, John McCain explains that this can be done in the same way that the Netherlands allow Amsterdam to have smoke-shops that are government-taxed, overseen and regulated. He also needs to use serious language such as:

“We are facing a global economic crisis, and it is time for all of us as Americans to think outside of the box. If we don’t, at this point in our history, life as we know it will change.”

Yeah, that should scare a few people.

I know at that point what we can expect from Barack Obama as a response: he will talk about John McCain losing his bearings and how the Straight Talk Express bus just lost two wheels.

Barack will probably be so rattled at this point that he will question John McCain’s mental state. That’s when McCain retaliates with claims of “ageism.” Yeah, that will lose Obama’s Florida retiree vote nicely. Even some Black people will begin to rethink their vote. Doctors, lawyers, professionals all over the country, hippies, and yes, even the college youth vote. It would be like:

“Damn, McCain snapped. I fucks with him!”

And once the numbers start to narrow, the only thing Obama can do at that point is to open the Cuban borders. Or try to legally get some of that Afghanistan poppy seed over here.

[DISCLAIMER: Rhymefest is not a marijuana smoker. That much.]