Week six of the first annual OnSMASH Football Pick’em Tournament! Last week, Al Davis fired Lane Kiffin and made Tom Cable the Raiders’ interim head coach, and the Rams promoted Jim Haslett to head coach. The New York Giants and Tennessee Titans are undefeated, and the Lions, Bengals and Rams haven’t won any games so far. The Associated Press recently interviewed NFL players about the U.S. presidential election.

Here are the stats for the season thus far:

	Sickamore	Joell Ortiz	Curren$y	Wale	Hof
Chicago Bears at Atlanta Falcons Sunday 10/12/08 @ 1:00PM
Miami Dolphins at Houston Texans Sunday 10/12/08 @ 1:00PM
Baltimore Ravens at Indianapolis Colts Sunday 10/12/08 @ 1:00PM
Detroit Lions at Minnesota Vikings Sunday 10/12/08 @ 1:00PM
Oakland Raiders at New Orleans Saints Sunday 10/12/08 @ 1:00PM
Cincinnati Bengals at N.Y. Jets Sunday 10/12/08 @ 1:00PM
Carolina Panthers at Tampa Bay Buccaneers Sunday 10/12/08 @ 1:00PM
St. Louis Rams at Washington Redskins Sunday 10/12/08 @ 1:00PM
Jacksonville Jaguars at Denver Broncos Sunday 10/12/08 @ 4:05PM
Dallas Cowboys at Arizona Cardinals Sunday 10/12/08 @ 4:15PM
Philadelphia Eagles at San Francisco 49ers Sunday 10/12/08 @ 4:15PM
Green Bay Packers at Seattle Seahawks Sunday 10/12/08 @ 4:15PM
New England Patriots at San Diego Chargers Sunday 10/12/08 @ 8:15PM
N.Y. Giants at Cleveland Browns Monday 10/13/08 @ 8:30PM

Hof, he put on! So for eight weeks strong, YN has been trying to come up with something to say about female rappers (it’s not as easy as it looks) and plug the shit out of his show, ego trip’s Miss Rap Supreme. Well it all ends today and this time I get to say adios amigos. LOL.

Figure for my last joint I’d actually say something about the final treacherous three ladies on the show (one’s gonna be 10 G’s richer in a few short hours). Since this is the end (mama told me one day it was gonna happen), here goes:

Rece Steele: Kinda similar to Shamrock in WRS (easy kids this doesn’t mean she wins the golden goose), Rece’s presence develops over time. When we first casted the show, I didn’t see her making it to the last ep but she surprised me. You can see her get more out of her shell and her character grows leaps and bounds. She’s clearly the feel good story but will she capture all the glory?

Byata: Our lone White female with skillz is real popular on these Internets blogs. She even got some ladies out in cyberland wanting to spend a lil quality time with her (if you know what I mean). Anyways, it’s pretty obvious B is super talented and a looker. Her clashes with Chiba were obviously a major part of this show’s success. But it’s interesting how she’s seems so likeable from jump but then as the pressure mounts she shows another side that seems really catty. She really wanted to bounce in ep #107 but thankfully she stayed. Now with her enemy banished, you’d be hard-pressed to bet against Russia’s finest pulling off the W.

Ms Cherry: Is she T-Pain’s baby mama? Shit I ain’t seen no DNA test but I do know Ms. ATL can be such a headache. She’s so talented but so often she doesn’t rise to occasion and really nail her rhymes when the pressure’s on. With The South still winning, Cherry obviously has the sound and the look of today, but will she finally fulfill her promise tonight and cease the moment and put these other bitches to shame? Muthafuckas, I ain’t tellin’ ya. Watch my shit!

ego trip’s Miss Rap Supreme Grand Finale 10pm. Vh1.

And if you got beef with the big homie because of the end result. Get that shit off your chest, I guess.

facebook.com/people/Elliott_Wilson/541215670



myspace.com/makavelliott

OK, I’m out like shout. Ooh-ah, ooh-ah. There it is baby doll.

P.S. When I finally decide what to do with the next episode of my life, I’m gonna holla at Hof. He’s gonna send over a video camera and I’m gonna tell you OnSmash viewers first. That’s right, Internets, First is First! It’s the least I can do. One all yourselves!

Now you see YN, now you don’t.

Since everyone seems to still have a Summer Jam morning hangover (Me, personally, I was a no show like Rhianna) I thought I’d dedicate today’s post to one of my favorite memories from those festivities. Five years ago, in a rare instance, where a female MC had a showcase to really show her skills, Lil Kim would rather flash her boobs. Ha.

Fuck, they musta edited it out but I saw clearly, fuckers. Apparently this wasn’t the first time, Kimmy flaunted her Dolly Partons (and no I’m not talking about Diana Ross coppin’ a feel at ’99’s MTV VMAs). Kim supposedly pulled the same trick at other Summer Jam concerts that year, including the night before Hot in Boston. Six months later, JT The Bigga Figga and Janet Jackson swagger jacked on Super Bowl Sunday, an incident that pretty much destroyed JD’s girl’s career.

People always say what the hell does this all mean? Damned if I know. But I got two weeks to plug my show so I’m riding til the end like Papoose and Rem. Miss Rap Supreme tonight at 10. Vh1. One more girl gets thrown under the bus and then our titillating triumvirate lock horns in the grand finale. Fuck a concert, let me entertain ya.

If you got any flicks or video of Kim topless, I’m here:

facebook.com/people/Elliott_Wilson/541215670

myspace.com/makavelliott

Sidebar: She doesn’t really do it for me but like eskay says, some things are for archival purposes.

Check out SixShot’s classic article on this subject.

In my world: Lil Wayne is still the hottest MC in the game (who else got the ‘Net goin’ nuts over fuckin’ snippets?). Hova is the GOAT (the prince of R&B Usher Raymond said it best: “My nigga Jigga is the best” Haaaaaa!). Nuff respect to Chucky D and Andre 3000, but the Kings from Queens still got the group belt (bullshit reality shows notwithstanding) And when it comes to the ladies: my queen is MC Lyte.

Pay attention young’n’s: Lil Kim took the blueprint and just threw some sex appeal on top. Lana Moorer was the original tough talkin’ BK broad with swagger out the ass. Shit, it’s deeper than just the “Paper Thin” vid I hipped y’all too in my first jump-off. You cocker spaniel bitches can’t fuck with her catalogue: “Cram To Understand,” “Cha Cha Cha,” “Survival of The Fittest,” “Cappuccino,” and the destruction of fellow female force Antoinette in two parts—“10% Diss” and “Shut The Eff Up! (Hoe).”

Still when the 90s came, Lyte wasn’t exactly stompin’. Rap fanatics like myself jumped back in horror at the first single from her third album 1991’s Act Like You Know. Here was our girl all dolled up with tons of face cake singing about being in love. Thankfully, the album still had “Poor Georgie” to keep the legacy alive.

Since then though it’s been few hits and a whole lotta misses. I respect what “Ruffneck” did for her career but I can’t fuck with it. I’m not afraid to admit though I got a soft spot for that Bad Boy remix of “Cold Rock A Party.” If you can’t get your two-step on to that you got a hole in your soul.

But as we know like boxers it’s hard for rappers to ride off into the sunset. That white horse be callin’ niggas. It seems like Lyte misses the limelight and is trying to comeback on the scene. Her new group is called Almost September comprised of two production weirdoes she met at Macy Gray recording session. The new single features KRS-One and Sleepy Brown? Yup it sounds as bad as it reads. Someone needs to tell dude to leave them mohawks to Puff.

Still no matter how horrible this project turns it out to be, I’m gonna just do what every true hip-hop head should do: ignore this mess and cry Lyte’s the best. The good outweighs the bad and watching legends fail to stay relevant makes me sad. Oh well, it’s Memorial Day, and Miss Rap Supreme is on tonight at 10. I’m gonna have an alcoholic beverage and a smile, I suggest you do the same.

If you get bent and wanna make a new pal, YN is there for ya:

facebook.com/people/Elliott_Wilson/541215670
myspace.com/makavelliott

Hillary step down, Amanda step in
Save the rap game for your fellow women
Lauryn fucked up but you can make it right
Choose one career and get them raps tight

Vote for Diva.

Diva.

Diva.

I don’t know your music real well, I won’t make no bones
Windows Over Harlem without the boy Jim Jones?
Then I hear you’re dropping a triple EP.
Damn that’s quite ambitious for a new MC
But still I like your style, conscious swagger in your shit
Fuck Floetry go in the lab and make a hit

Hillary step down, Amanda step in
Save the rap game for your fellow women
Lauryn fucked up but you can make it right
Choose one career and get them raps tight

Vote for Diva.

Diva.

Diva.

Miss Rap Supreme is back on tonight at 10
After you see my show will you still be my friend?
Some say what I’m doing they can’t comprehend
Shit on my sisters so I can merely stack ends?
I say I’m misunderstood and there’s a message in the madness
And if my ratings aren’t good I’ll be touched with such sadness
So watch my show Amanda and please give it a lil dap
And after you do that, can you please save rap?

Hillary step down, Amanda step in
Save the rap game for your fellow women
Lauryn fucked up but you can make it right
Choose one career and get them raps tight

Vote for Diva.

Diva.

Diva.

I cosign you. You cosign me.
This rhyming shit is hard.
To hell with MC’s.

I know you won’t go to jail or make an album you don’t like.
Dumb down your lyrics or ever become a dyke.
You got connections, the looks, the drive, the ambition.
With the right direction, you got what the game’s been missing.
So don’t let YN down and make my proclamation come true.
If Amanda ain’t the future, then I wanna know who?

Hillary step down, Amanda step in
Save the rap game for your fellow women
Lauryn fucked up but you can make it right
Choose one career and get them raps tight

Vote for Diva.

Diva.

Diva.

You got a haiku from you and your crew? Send it my way.

facebook.com/people/Elliott_Wilson/541215670
myspace.com/makavelliott

It’s been so long since I had a jobby-job I had to recall protocol, y’all. See I forgot to hit Hoffa with a text yesterday to let him know I wanted to take the day off. So instead, here I am fam. Go get a late pass! YN week 5. But I’m sorry to report there’s no episode of ego trip’s Miss Rap Supreme tonight at 10.

Yup, VH1 put et and Flavor-Flav on the bench for a few (Fuck a Hills finale!) but we’ll be back. Next week, in fact! Shit, picture YN’s show getting cancelled. That’s like YN getting… nevermind. Stay on message: More of our girls’ crazy ways in seven days. You can’t stop
the unstoppable; we got 4 more shows to go!

In the meantime, in-between time: Here’s a throwback from my man Diamond D. (Ck the hand movements son.) The DITC capo was a big ball of energy.

Also before I go: I must take note that this is a big week for the ladies of rap. Remy Ma is gonna tie the knot with Papoose at Rikers today. (That’s the realest shit I ever typed.) And manana, Inga returns to the record stores with that Don Diva CD. Insert your own smart comment here at your own peril. But both these broads are hard body and I’m riding with both of ‘em. My mama ain’t raise no fool.

Yo Ma, it’s YN. I just downloaded your new album and boy you got a lotta material on that shit. And you got a lot of energy. It’s a lot to digest. Sadly, I think I might be too old for your shit. I mean you said it yourself. You’re the VYP: Voice of the Young People. And I’m 37. But hey didn’t you jack that concept and line from my fellow grown ass man Jay-Z. “Young Vito, voice of the young people.” It was on a lil album called the Blueprint. Must be a coincidence. Right?

Anyways, I know your album dropped last Tues and with all this Madonna talk I’m worried your project is gonna get lost in the sauce. (And that’s the last thing female rap could use right now). So I’m gonna stop listening to my free MP3’s and cop your CD when I get into the city today. Now my name ain’t Skillz and since I ain’t got no job and I’m on a budget, I’m not gonna cop 15 copies but I will grab one. But there’s a catch….

Tonight is episode 4 of ego trip’s Miss Rap Supreme. I think we actually tried to get you on this show (if memory serves) but your peoples passed due to a “scheduling” conflict. Anyways, here’s your chance to redeem yourself and watch my show. Tonight at 10 on VH1. That’s 10 o’clock. ego trip’s Miss Rap Supreme. Hey feel free to encourage all your fans to watch the show too. Ok boo.

Shit, you from Harlem, I was raised up in Queens. We gotta look out for us fellow New Yorkers. Anyways, I liked the fake-Scream video you got with Chris Brown so I’m gonna post it right here to show you my undying support.

Anyways, it’s kinda creepy for someone my age to be communicating with someone as young as you (No Roger Clemens) so I gots to go. Remember ego trip’s Miss Rap Supreme is your new fav show on TV. Got it? Cool!

Keep doin’ your thing lil Ms Thing,

Mr. Wilson

P.S. My brother (myspace.com/prezzurenyc) says besides the pop tart hits you make you can really spit. Hard body female like! You might wanna do more of that on your next album. Hope you bodied Wayne like Cory Gunz did on those upcoming “Milli” interludes. I got my fingers crossed.

The rest of youse: If you’re over 18, I wish you act like an adult and… social network:

facebook.com/people/Elliott_Wilson/541215670

myspace.com/makavelliott

Dear Jean,

Hey boo, it’s YN. Yo, the young homie William E. Ketchum The Third wrote some article on HipHopDX about how he was perusing through MySpace and found your blog which said you was calling it quits. Arevaderce? Say it ain’t so. I for one don’t wanna believe it because I haven’t seen it. You see I ride more for Facebook, you know, but that’s just me, personally. Mark > Tom.

But anyways, I know times get rough being the underground rap queenpen for over a decade and all but you can’t leave now. Don’t you have some kind of major label deal with Blacksmith? Somebody put Talib Kweli on the phone! What in the blue hell?

Anyways I hope my show, which airs tonight at 10 pm. That’s ego trip’s Miss Rap Supreme. ego trip’s Miss Rap Supreme. Vh1. 10 pm. Mondays belong to ego trip… Sorry. Anyways I hope my show didn’t have nothing to do with you retiring your flow. Yeah we tease and run a few gags on some hungry femme fetales but there is a method to madness.

It’s edutainment! And you may have to watch the whole series to truly grasp it. In fact, I encourage anyone who’s reading this to take the Jean Grae challenge: and watch all my damn shows! How can you judge a yellow nigga by just two hours of hip-hop hijinx?

No, no, no. Keep your head up and your eyes open. This is gonna be a long ride.

Speaking of which, Jean you gotta stay in this for the long haul. There’s no crying or quitting in hip-hop. We know female MCs got it tough but hey no one sells records anymore. There’s no pressure. Keep doin’ it for the art, ma. You still got a core of rap fanatics who need ya. You’re probably just goin’ through a tough time. It too will pass.

I know my ass ain’t convinced this is it. Mark my words: If Jin couldn’t do it, how can you? I’m gonna go find my Rawkus backpack and dust of the old Duck Down windbreaker. It’s a celebration, bitches! Let’s start the countdown til Jean Grae has a change of heart.

Can’t leave rap alone… you know the rest,

Elliott

P.S. I think you shot a black and white vid for “Negro League Baseball” back when you were paying dues with the Natural Resources crew but I couldn’t find it. Here’s an old show you guys did at The Cooler.

The real hip-hop was over there on that night, Miss Lady. Ha!

Cheer up and write some rhymes!

Hit me at:

facebook.com/people/Elliott_Wilson/541215670

Screw:

myspace.com/makavelliott

Yessir, it’s YN again. Round 2, the bell’s rung and unlike Bernard Hopkins I can talk the talk and walk the walk (Sidebar: I say bring back them 15 Rounders that’ll separate the men from the boys). Ep 102 of ego trip’s Miss Rap Supreme premieres tonight at 10 and I promise you there’s even more explosive moments than are critically-acclaimed jump-off supplied. But I got to thinking with all the crazy antics Khia set off last week, why don’t I go in an opposite direction for this installment of my OnSmash column. How bout a lil unity? U.N.I.T.Y. See in hip-hop’s past there’s been a scattered few examples of a group of ladies of the microphone joining forces for one common cause.

I’m gonna take you back to 1995. Tommy ain’t your muthafuckin’ Boy Records (Just joshing Mr. Silverman.). Big Kap – Da Ladies in Da House, featuring Bahamadia, Lauryn Hill (believe it or not) and three long forgotten femme fatales: Precise, Treep and Uneek.

For those who don’t know Big Kap was Funkmaster Flex’s longtime DJ partner back in the days. They even paired to release the slept-on Tunnel LP on Def Jam back in the 1-9-9-9. Some may say duke is uglier than Craig Mack but I prefer to just state that he’s clearly not the most handsome fellow on the planet. But hey the big homie must have had some kind of G to get all these sophisticated ladies to lend their services.

Speaking of which, as I stated sometime in the past there was a pre-Score time that me and L-Boogie would chop it up on the horn every once in awhile. I remember her talking to me about doing this collab and how her Fugee mates weren’t necessarily pleased with her spreading herself around like mustard. Her rationale was this could help out her fellow sisters in the game plus provide more exposure to her group who weren’t exactly the hottest thing back then.

If memory serves Bahamadia may have had a bigger buzz than L-Boogie at the time (I know it’s hard to imagine). I knew of Uneek because she was all over Doo Wop’s mixtapes but I still don’t much about the other two. That is, until I did lil Internet research and I came across

http://milkcratebreaks.blogspot.com/2007/11/big-kap-da-ladies-in-da-house.html

who did an excellent job recounting this lost song.

Anyways, this is a weird one which many of you have probably never seen so of course I got provide a lil artistic advisory. Keep an open mind.

:16 I told you the homie was hard on the mirror.

:22 Yup that’s Lauryn.

:30 Is Bahamadia really sittin’ on a giant ladybug?

:34 She sure kept a tight fro.

:46 That’s the Biz Mark, Biz Mark in the red Mickey Mouse T.

1:05 Flex cameo.

1:07 In front of Flex, is Awesome 2’s DJ Special K and DJ Enuff. Now I remember Kap, Flex and Enuff were in a click called Flip Squad. No relation to Flipmode. Flip Squad iz da Squad!

1:10 Kap really got the honeys givin’ him rubdowns. These must be the chicks who got into the Tunnel for free.

1:24 Shortie looks cuter without the shades. Fire your stylist.

1:50 Ma look like she got kicked out of Total.

1:58 Yup, that’s B.I.G., baby-baby!

2:04 OK I wouldn’t fuck with this broad. She looks like she’d cut you.

2:23 What’s that tat say?

2:29 Ok, there’s Doo Wop, this must be Uneek. She’s a feisty thing papi. Think Doo Wop was down with Flip Squad too.

2:40 Nice eye piercing. Not!

2:42 Is that a white girl or boriqua?

2:45 She’s rubbing her joints because she loves hip-hop. Must be part of the Smalls table.

2:50 L-Boogie got shades too. Think this was shot in the summer.

2:55 Lauryn loves to sing.

3:04 Watch out for them candles.

3:06 What is she laying on?

3:40 Kap gotta shine. Who’s record is this anyway?

3:53 Lap Dance!

Wait did one of the ladies miss the video shoot? See maybe sisters can’t get along. Anyways if you got any video requests for my OnSmash column or audio suggestions for the Hard Body Female Spit series, hit me at the following spots. I’m out like Isiah. Bye, haters.

facebook.com/people/Elliott_Wilson/541215670

myspace.com/makavelliott

OnSmash big bossman Hof must have a heart of gold. Or maybe just a soft spot for niggas from Queens. First he’s got Consequence advising you misguided mic spitters, and now the return of YN. YN is back?!!! Wow, you rap geeks don’t really deserve to start the week off so lovely.

Anyways, I’m not really here to lend a helping hand other than to entertain you. Tonight, the late great mag kingpin cops a squat on top of your TV set. ego trip’s Miss Rap Supreme. 10pm. Vh1. That’s: ego trip’s Miss Rap Supreme. 10pm. Vh1. You know all about it, c’mon honey don’t front. Y’all know I’m all about the numbers and high opening night ratings will keep the dimpled smile on Berta’s baby boy’s grillpiece.

To ensure my success, I’m gonna invade this space every Monday for the next eight weeks. That’s how long the show will be on the air. See, it’s simple mathematics. Anyway, to get you into the female rap spirit, I will present one of my favorite videos from one of hip-hop’s incredible queen pens. (I promise no Queen Pen. I do have taste you know.) I’m also on some director’s cut shit, gonna share with you young whippersnappers my insights and thoughts from the visual masterwork.

So without further adieu or Erykah Badu, I present MC Lyte’s “Paper Thin.”

Not only is this song great but also so is the video. Watch it yourself, digest and then watch it again with my essential guide to the things that you are witnessing.

:00-:25 First of all this might be the greatest opener to any video ever made (Eat your heart out Kanye!). Two matching Jettas (drug dealer car of choice back in my high school days) skid suddenly in the front of the Union Square train station in NYC. And then the gripping dialogue: “The subway? You got this bad Jetta here and you wanna take the subway!”

:39 DJ K-Rock plays train conductor. And do you notice Lyte’s female bodyguard. I think she went by Ket or Kat. She looks like she’d kick Chyna’s ass.

:44 Gotta love the fake cheesy newspaper headline: MC Lyte Rocks The Nation! That marketing plan was Nat’s!

:51 Uh oh, bodyguard busts dude out. Lyte’s premonition is correct! Her man is getting his Jack Tripper on right on the iron horse. Sorry ladies, he’s a cheater. Hell hath no fury!

1:00 Ah shit, we’re in color again. Got a lil mo’ money in the video budget than we thought.

1:04 Love the Lyte album art as ad in the back of the car. Again, you’re a great man, Nat Robinson.

1:09 Here’s a lil racism: A fake Taimak-looking light-skinned brotha eating Chinese takeout with some chopsticks. And a doctor??? Might not have wanted to get so literal on that part of the song.

1:20 That’s right, skeezers. Lyte’s here, you better break north!

1:24 Didn’t see Lyte’s judo chop coming, did ya? Don’t get distracted by them doorknockers, knocka.

1:27 Who says ole girl can’t dance? Step in the name of singleness.

1:30 I always wanted but never had a big-ass boom box.

1:36 Pick pocketing on NY subways is so old school.

1:41 Yes that was ego trip’s Miss Rap Supreme host MC Serch. Went by fast but you’ll see him again.

1:46 Mo’ political incorrectness: A blind man with an MC Lyte sign on his chest. Shame on you nuhs!

1:52 Lyte’s headphones are crazy big. She’s a ball of energy. Is this her first video?

1:58 Yup, that’s Jazzy Joyce in the middle. Where she at? In the middle!

1:59 Are we clowning the homeless now? Is anyone safe?

2:12 Don’t hit him Lyte! Let your bodyguard toss the chump on the platform.

2:15 That didn’t look like a scarf around his neck.

2:19 I see you Serch. And no that’s not why I picked this video. What kinda selfish self-promoter do you think I am? (Insert sinister laugh)

2:21 Hey what’s the pickpocket vick doin’ waving his arm in the air? Doesn’t he know he got robbed?

2:23 Who’s Lyte pointing at if duke is already off the train? Taimak?

2:26 Under that Nike hat is BDP’s D-Nice. I heard rumors that him and Lyte were real snuggle bunnies but I ain’t one to gossip.

2:43 A black man in a cage? Incarcerated in the court of the transit authority? Ha!

2:50 That leather jacket Lyte got is kinda hot.

2:57 You know the Audio Two had to get their cameo on.

3:00 Just in case, you missed that album art ad.

3:08 Was the K-Rock in the baby blue sweatpants booty shot really necessary?

3:16 Lyte will never forgive you!

3:20 The bodyguard’s First Priority jacket got me fiendin’ for one.

3:23 Wait, the fake Andre Harrell who got juxed is asleep and awaken again. Fire the director!

3:34 Ah, Lyte got a new boo. And all true man. Word to Alexander O’Neal and his sweaty forehead.

3:38 Can’t leave without giving the drummer some!

Sidebar:

Just like I promised you at Unkut.

If you’re looking for YN and miss him so much that you need to stay in touch—get your Stan on and social network with him at the following spots below. As my fellow legendary, now-you-see-him-now-you-don’t cat Cameron Giles would say, “I’ll holla!”

facebook.com/people/Elliott_Wilson/541215670
myspace.com/makavelliott

Peace to the homies: Plain Pat, Timmhotep and Young Legend.